How To Love Your Body During Sex

Shifting Perspective

Confidence in your body is a journey, not a destination. Body neutrality - accepting your body without judgment - is a practice. Start small: spend time naked with yourself, look at your body in the mirror, and appreciate it without critique. Just notice that’s it’s a body and that you exist and you get to have a body.

Challenge Thought Viruses

Identify the critical voices in your mind. Whose words are they, and why are they there? Replace negative self-talk with empowering affirmations like: I am beautiful, smart, and deserving of pleasure.

Reflect: Who am I without these negative beliefs? What does my life look like when I start believing: I am beautiful, smart, and deserving of pleasure?

Media and marketing have done us a great disservice. Their messaging pummelled many of us into self-hatred or at the least, self-criticism. Ask yourself, what if those messsages had been wrong all along? What if it’s ok to be me exactly as I am?

Start to consiously think - I love my body for what it can do!

Aging and Sensuality

Healthy, fulfilling sex lives are common into older age, with people over 50 experiencing vibrant connections. Reframe menopause and perimenopause as opportunities for growth. Explore accurate information about HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) and other health solutions to support vitality and sexual health. All of us get old - if we’re lucky. We are still allowed to be interested in pleasure, no matter our age.

Treat Your Body with Love

Ask yourself: Am I treating my body with care? Do my actions build confidence or tear it down? Do I exercise for nourishment rather than punishment? Do I fill my body with healthy, wholesome, delicious foods? Take steps to nourish and move your body in ways that feel good and affirm your worth. The stronger and healthier you feel, the more you’ll love your body for what it can do, not what it looks like.

Shift our Language

Start using ONLY positive language about your body. Begin practicing saying “thank you” when someone compliments you. This will change how you mentally think about your body. Instead of saying, “My legs are big,” say, “My legs are strong.”

Self-love Massage

Let’s start with massaging the fingers and then the hands. Lovingly massage the oil upwards over your arms. Give yourself a hug and massage your back. Let your hands run all over your body, wherever they take you.

Mirror Your Body

Spend time looking at yourself naked in the mirror, offering affirmations or simply observing without judgment. Slowly assess all the parts of yourself, neutral and sensual. Notice the parts of the body that you don’t like, and send them love. Then, finish on noticing all the parts of the body that you do like. We’re going to do this every single morning. And we are going to hopefully tip the scale, so that all the parts become parts that you do like.

Name Your Sexual Organs

One of the things you can do to take ownership of your body, is give your sexual organs names that work for you. Some words may not sit well with you. You get to decide. You might like to journal some names for your sexual organs. Tell your partner which words you like in the bedroom.